UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - A commission of top-ranking officials from several agencies, including NASA, the NSA, and the Department of Homeland Security, today released photos they confirm are beings from another planet, ending decades of speculation about the government’s involvement in hiding what some are heralding as the most important scientific discovery in human history. “Fine, jeez, just take them, are you happy now?” said Brigadier General Ashley Humston, head of Joint Space Force Diplomacy, a previously classified position among the Joint Chiefs. “Get off our backs already,” she added. The revelation comes amid a growing concern that the government might be hiding all kinds of cool stuff from us civilians. “Hopefully that keeps these conspiracy theorists off our backs for a while,” she said. When reminded that it’s not a conspiracy theory if it’s true, General Humston directed the reporter who made the comment to join some nice men in dark suits in an unmarked van, presumably for an exclusive interview.
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